6/18 WIP Tip: Editing Out the Words I Hate, part 3
Today it isn’t so much a word itself rather than a verb form:
TO BE
The main reason you need to cut TO BE, in all its forms (am, are, is, was, were and their accompanying tenses) is because using TO BE in a narrative sense (not if it’s in dialogue–or even as a flashback. I can accept those two) tells the reader what happened/is happening/will happen. Any good writer worth their weight in fountain pen ink knows the kiss of death is to tell, not show a story.
I’ve put down books in the first chapter, never to return to reading them again because too much TO BE yanks me right out of the story and shows amateurism.
Consider a few examples? These are from the next book in my TBR pile:
He was dying.
Ok, maybe I’ll let that one slide as well. But what about…
The will to live slipped a little from his bones each day.
The world around him grew fuzzy. Distant. Foreign.
…or…
They were funny.
What about…
Christine laughed so hard her ribs ached.
Laughter lightened Christine’s mood.
Since Stephan’s illness, Christine had almost forgotten how to laugh. Now, there was no way to hold her back.
(a bit lengthy but we get a lot more detail about the story rather than saying “they were funny”)
Your turn. Wipe out the TO BEs in your story and see how much you can add to the character, plot and setting when you get specific.
How did you make your story better?
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It's pretty simple, really. I'm a writer who loves writing about writing, and sharing all the tricks of the trade with other writers. And when I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing. I have a hunch you know what I mean :)